Likeness and Unlikeness in Marriage

This quote stands well enough without comment...

     "Ideally, the spouse is to be the "help" of similitude, of likeness. (This is only half the "helpfulness"; but understand and rejoice in this half first.) Husband and wife act as living mirrors to one another. When I look at Thanne (his wife), I discover myself, because Thanne is at the same time reacting to me. If she is reacting truthfully - I will find my needs in the sympathy of her chin; my personal characteristics will appear in the expressions of her face, in her posture and her words. I am in Thanne! And she is in me. And where better to view the truth of my self than in one who neither flatters nor scorns me, but knows me well and lovingly? 

     This mirroring is a most practical "help" to all my work, for I will be wise to my strengths and watchful of my weaknesses thereafter. Neither falsely proud nor falsely inferior, I can make realistic efficient decisions.

     When Thanne's eyes, looking upon me are wounded, then I may know that something in me is injurious. When Thanne's eyes, looking upon me, are consoled, then I may know that I am consolation. And when Thanne's eyes merely look upon me, then I may know that I am: the gift of the knowledge of being! (When she calls) "Wally? Wally?" And I answer: "Here I am." This is a "help" most "fit" to me - to me specifically - one no chattel nor slave nor employer could ever be."

- pg 61-62, 'As for Me and My House' - Walter Wangerin, Jr.