From the movie, "Anything Else"
Dobel: The pill makes her crazy? Falk, she *is* crazy. The Pentagon should use her hormones for chemical warfare.
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Jerry: It's exactly as Dobel says, there is truly a paucity of veridical talent in the world.
Amanda: When will I get to meet this polymath?
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Dobel: Let me tell you, Falk. We live in perilous times. You got to keep alert for these things. You don't want your life to wind up as black-and-white newsreel footage scored by a cello in a minor key.
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Jerry: Do you love me?
Amanda: What a question. Just because I pull away when you touch me?
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Psychiatrist: Tell me about your dream. The Cleveland Indians all got jobs at Toys R Us?
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Amanda: I've had a crush on you since we met. Couldn't you tell, the way I was ignoring you?
Jerry: Well, there was something compelling about your apathy.
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Dobel: I promised students of my class I'm gonna take them to the Caravaggio exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum. You know, I try to give them a little culture now and then so they don't beat each other to death with bicycle chains all the time.
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Dobel: What you don't know, won't hurt you, it'll kill you. Like if they tell you you're going to shower but they turn out not to be showers.
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Jerry: Dobel says the crimes of the Nazis were so enormous that if the entire human race were to vanish as a penalty it could be argued that it would be justified.
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Dobel: The thing I'm going to miss the most is the kids. The kids are, are wonderful kids and they're bright, you know. You should see the creative ways they smuggle weapons past the metal detectors, it's amazing.
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Amanda: Jerry, don't be mad. Don't be mad. And don't be mad at Ron, he was just trying to help.
Jerry: Of course he was. Ron? How could I be upset at Ron? In fact, remind me please to put him on my Christmas list if I can figure out how to make a letterbomb.
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Jerry: I feel like committing suicide, but I've got so many problems, that wouldn't solve them all.
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Amanda: Am I late?
Jerry: Not if we go by Rocky Mountain time.
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Dobel: You know, there's great wisdom in jokes, Falk, really. There's an old joke about a prizefighter who's in the ring, and he's getting killed, he's getting his brains beat out; and his mother's in the audience, and she's watching him getting beaten up in the ring, and there's a priest next to her, and she says 'Father, father, pray for him, pray for him!' The priest says 'I will pray for him, but if he could punch it would help!' There's more insight in that joke, into what I call the giant so-what, than most books on philosophy.
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Amanda: You're the only one I've ever dated who knows exactly what to get me. That's because you have a special vision of me.
[Jerry opens his present]
Jerry: Ah, "No Exit" and "The Flies", Jean-Paul Sartre, that's amazing, thank you so much!
Amanda: It was between that and O'Neill. I couldn't decided whose pessimistic nihilism would make you happier.
Jerry: You know I think it was Tennessee Williams who said that "the opposite of death is desire". And I desired you from the first moment we met.
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Dobel: You know, Falk, if a guy comes out onstage at Carnegie Hall and throws up, you can always find some people who will call it art.
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